As my Medical Intuitive class wrapped up our work with the chakras through healing and reading them energetically, we now move into our relationships with our Self and others. We each made a list of ways that we are loving ourselves and ways that we are not. Getting comfortable and honest with my unloving ways ways made me a little uneasy in a good way. Mine included drinking coffee (it is too acidic for my body and my adrenals need some love), alcohol and consuming sugar, saying yes when I want to say no, shopping too much and issues with my partner which is another story in itself. Our class got in a debate on weather consuming foods that aren’t healthy for us is actually an unloving act if we are doing it from a place of gratitude. For an example, enjoying a piece of cake for a friend’s birthday. Our teacher, Robin, asked the most obvious question which helped us realize the correct answer: If you are eating ice cream from a place of gratitude, does that change what it physically does to your body? The answer is NO. If we are really loving ourselves, would we treating our body in an unloving way? Why would we want to treat our bodies/ ourselves badly? What are we punishing ourselves for and how can we change this behavior with loving-kindness? My loving acts to myself included eating greens, vitamins, protein, taking naps, meditating, working on my music, working on my creative business, spending time with my kids, surfing, learning, yoga, traveling, spending time with friends and taking my Medical Intuitive class. It felt good to see all these wonderful gifts to myself.
As I read each item from my lists aloud, Robin asked about the sugar. She could tell that was my main vice from my unloving side. She asked if I could totally cut out the sugar and when I felt the need to eat it, I was to really FEEL THE PAIN. She asked me to feel the pain, so that it could pass and transform into love. That surprised me. The pain? Had I been replacing pain with sugar? I agreed and was surprised about what I discovered the following week.
It’s not like I eat sugar for every meal. But, after I do eat, I am constantly searching out that sweet treat to satisfy my craving. I found that a lot of my get-togethers with friends and places I chose to visit were centered around that sugary fix weather it be a delicious mint mojito mocha from my favorite coffee shop, going out for drinks, movies with candy or a couple heaping spoonfuls of ice cream in the evening after the kids had gone to bed. I was excited to stick to my commitment of no sugar. There were moments when I felt the desperation for just a handful of a sugary treat just like a legit addict. One time in particular, I was leaving work, which is not my favorite environment. It actually bums me out every time I’m there because I would love to be doing something more authentic. Although, the job has been perfect for this transitional phase of my life. I am now absolutely ready to move on, however don’t have a financially stable step to take next. As I was leaving after my shift; there it was, that strong craving for something sweet. It was relentless. As I embraced the desire, it turned to emptiness. I realized beneath the cravings were feelings of sadness in regards to the job I have. All that was left was me. Emptiness. It slowly became comfortable and filled with love. The craving passed as it did every time.
Later in the week, I snuck away for a restorative yoga class at my gym. As we laid on our mats with a bolster under our spine, tears welled up into my eyes. I had not been caring for my Self. It felt so good to completely love my Self for an hour of yoga. Having a void where the sugar had been had forced me to be alone with my Self. I was craving self care, acceptance and acknowledging what my Soul really wants. Acknowledging is the first step to SELF LOVE.
You can try this for yourself. Make two lists. Your first list includes the ways that you are not loving to yourself. The second includes the ways you are loving to yourself. Which unloving things can you eliminate and ask yourself why you are doing them. When they are removed, what is there? Acknowledge and fill with SELF LOVE.
SoulBeautiful 